Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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