butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
