I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
