omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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