A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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