Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize