New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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