More tranny stories later!
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Farmville is her only friend.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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