D3 body, D1 cock
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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