have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heâ€™s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.