I didn't shave. On purpose
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
