how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
