Non-Jews are for practice
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize