yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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