New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
