I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize