He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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