The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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