i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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