Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize