Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
