I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
