i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
how drunk are you?
Several
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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