Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
