I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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