he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize