did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
