I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
