either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
