I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
