I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I need a beard to bite.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
he's single and there are thong briefs.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
