Just cropdusted the office
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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