when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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