i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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