who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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