oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
