kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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