Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
