Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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