i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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