dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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