i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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