yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
