We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
