worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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