You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
