Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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