Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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