I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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