I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
What drink are we having for lunch?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
