He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
