if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
