Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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