This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
