hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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